and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
