Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
