Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
