I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize