I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
this hospital has no fireball
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
