I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
