She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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