Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
