he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize