Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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