I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize