last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize