I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Alive.
So much puke
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
