Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
