i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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