its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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