Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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