I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
