the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
