She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Randomize
