I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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