let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
