OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
