you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize