If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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