I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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