im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
