Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
