Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
