Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
