Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize