The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
