it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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