sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
