that's an acceptable place to lick
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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