man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Randomize
