summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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