Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
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