i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
