there was a trapeze. enough said
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
