I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
