North Korea, Best Korea!
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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