he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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