I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize