Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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