I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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