i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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