Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
