I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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