yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
