Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
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I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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