Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
