his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
The cops high fived after they tackled you
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
