ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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