my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
