currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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