Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
