this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
