He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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