just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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