let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
