first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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