How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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