I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
So vagazzling was a success
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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