oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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