just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
