Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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