I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
