I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
