Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
